I am a fan of symmetry. Maybe it’s my math background, I
don’t know. But I find a certain beauty when things appear to fit.
Don’t worry; this is not a story about gay marriage.
In looking through the 151 stories I have written on this
blog, I noticed some symmetry. Back in 2009 when I first moved to Orlando I
wrote a story about how awestruck I was with the town. Then, three months
later, I wrote a more grounded, yet still positive, story about where I was
with the Orlando Experience. Earlier this year I moved to Miami and wrote a
similar awestruck story. I have now been here three months.
Time to true up the symmetry.
Three months seems to be a good barometer. The initial
excitement and confusion about living somewhere new should have subsided,
replaced by familiarity and reality. This is definitely the case with my Miami
Experience. So what have I learned about my new home during this time? Well…
Let’s start with the obvious. You do not hear a lot of
English spoken here. Spanish is the default. You sometimes have to make a
concerted effort to find someone who speaks English, especially in places like
Little Havana or Westchester. My closest Walmart is in Westchester, and the
last time I was there all I heard was a constant stream of Spanish. In fact,
when I need assistance finding something and approach an employee, my first
query is, “Habla Ingles?”
And as I mentioned in my last story about Miami, this does
not offend me. I don’t grumble about the fact there is an American flag flying
outside yet English is the secondary language. Because Miami is a young city; a
hundred years ago it was little more than a swamp. About fifty years ago,
Castro came into power in Cuba, which triggered the first exodus of Cubans to
Miami. Thirty years ago the Mariel boatlift occurred, depositing 125,000 of
Fidel’s Finest here. And since then, other Latin America countries have become
noticeably represented here – Colombians, Venezuelans, Nicaraguans and so on.
And what do they all have in common? Spanish.
So what is occurring here is a generational thing – the
elderly speaks Spanish. Their offspring, folks around my age, are bilingual.
Much like the Little Italy section of New York. And like New York, Miami is
truly an international city. Which leads to my next observation –
The food here is outrageous. Whether it’s Ropa Vieja at
Versailles on Calle Ocho or Arroz Con Pollo at Kokoriko in Brickell, it’s all
good. Real good. Or, I should say, muy bueno. And the people here are proud of
their heritage and are very friendly. As you can imagine, especially among the
older Cubans, there is an inherent joy in being somewhere where speaking your
mind does not land you in jail. As such, these folks like to celebrate.
But there are instances which makes me truly feel like the
minority that, well, I am. For example, FM radio. It sucks. But then again, it
reflects the demographics of the area. Ninety percent of the stations are
Hispanic music. The other ten percent is classic rock or sports talk. So you
choices are bonga-bonga-bonga arriba te amo, Led Zeppelin, or Dan Lebatard.
Well, I don’t care for salsa and I am burned out on Zep.
Dan, by default, wins.
Which is a good segue to something Miami is also know for,
its sports teams. I just worked the Miami Heat celebration parade. It was
attended by 400,000 people. Now, being a native Ohioan, having been born in the
same town as LeBron James, there is a personal grinding of my teeth to see the
Heat win championships. As I have found out, this is a view held by most people
who live outside of Miami. But in Miami? They don’t care. In fact they take it
a step further – they don’t want to hear it. If you are upset about the Heat
cherry-picking elite players from other teams, keep it to yourself. They know
the rest of the world doesn’t like it, and that just gives them more resolve –
hate us, as if we care. World champs, muthafucka.
There are a couple of other minor, yet infuriating aspects
of living here. Why does it cost twenty freaking dollars to get my car washed?
Where are the coin-op self wash places? Why does it cost SIX BUCKS to park at a
county park?
But those are easily dismissed for the far more important
positives of being here. I have assimilated into an international city where I
am proudly a minority (and a 54 year old white boy from the Midwest is
definitely a minority), the beaches are awesome, the women are beautiful (a
product of mixed bloods), and I am happy.
And you likely would be too if you lived in Miami.
So if you want to only be around white people who speak
English, stay in Iowa. If instead you want to experience how the rest of the
world lives, c’mon down.
But download Rosetta Stone first.