Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Facebook Gobbledegook

I love Facebook. I really do. It has provided me a convenient way of keeping up with family and friends who I am too lazy to call. It’s also an easy way of finding out what is going on with your friends, from heady issues such as their health or what their children are up to, to the critical stuff. Like pics of what they ate for lunch. You also learn a lot about these people not gleaned from face-to-face conversations. Not to mention the opportunity to snipe some uber cool memes. (I will never tire of Grumpy Cat) -->

But there are some things people post that make me take pause. Things that, when I see them, I think, dude srlsy?

Here are a few things that make me smh…

People who talk to their dead relatives – You know what I’m referring to. Posts like, “Mom you died thirteen years ago today but I still miss you.”

Okay, let me get out of the way the fact that many people do miss their deceased loved ones. Me included.

But what makes you think that heaven has internet?

Shit, my mom never touched a damn computer her entire life. If I Facebook posted while she was alive that I loved her, she would never have read it. So there is zero reason to think that her passing included a sudden spate of tech savviness.

People…dead folks don’t have Facebook accounts.

Yeah I know. These kinds of posts are people’s way coping. Cool. I’m down. But really – if you want to remember your dead dad, go lay some flowers on his grave.

Share if you love Jesus!

And if you don’t you’re going to burn in hell.

Apparently that’s the message. Lemme ask – can I love Jesus without sharing this post? Is that allowed? This is remotely related to my previous beef. We all agree that Jesus died some two thousand years ago, a horrific death which included nails being driven through his extremities. So he’s dead. Some think he now sits at the right hand of God. Okay.

But why does my feelings towards him hinge on whether I share your zealous post or not?

Political Opinions That Can't Be Backed upLook. Those who know me know I love a good political debate. However, many do not understand what the word ‘debate’ means. They think they can post their view through some kind of politically-based meme and get three thousand likes.

Well, forgive me if I might have questions. And forgive me further if I ask them.

What usually happens when this occurs is one of two things: Either the poster explains they did not intend to engage in debate, or I am told how stupid I am for having a different opinion. Either reply leads to the same conclusion:

You got no business telling us your opinion in a public forum.

So stop it.

Game InvitesI don’t know what Farmville is. I have no interest in finding out.

So I guess these are usual irritants which occur when the collective moshes on a website. I wonder if Mark Zuckerburg saw this coming?

Actually, I wonder if he’s too busy counting his money to care.

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